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Episode #55 - The Paperboy

September 26th, 2013

Zac Effron, Nicole Kidman, Matthew McConaughey, Macy Gray and John Cusack star in one of the most incoherent movies we've ever reviewed. When he's convinced by a crazy woman to write an article about a convicted murderer to try to get him out of prison, McConaughey teams up with his brother (Effron) and his writing partner and sets out to find the truth... or get sexually assaulted trying! Macy Gray does her best to guide us through this muck of a plot and John Cusack gets as gross and racist as he possibly can. Grab a tub of ice cream, leave your pants at home, and join us as we pee all over The Paperboy's face!

Episode #54 - They Live

September 17th, 2013

They Live? We're really doing this? Alright...

We here at Stop the Movie are fans of John Carpenter's sci-fi classic They Live, but we felt like there was enough craziness in the movie that we just HAD to talk about it... so welcome to our first "Start the Movie" review! Rowdy Roddy Piper stars across from Keith David in 86 minutes of sci-fi zaniness, and a legendary 5 minutes and 20 seconds of pure awesomeness! After observing some odd behavior at a church across the street from his shanty town, Piper discovers a box full of sunglasses that allows him to see the truth... that the earth is being run by ugly-ass aliens who are using subliminal messages to control the human race. After beating Keith David into believing him, the two set out to expose the aliens' evil doings. I really can't say anything bad about this movie. It's awesome. Grab your sunglasses, OBEY, and join us as we chew bubblegum and kick ass with They Live!

Episode #53 - Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever

September 10th, 2013

Good God.... We've finally done it... We've finally found a movie that makes The Happening look like The Godfather, House of the Dead look like Dawn of the Dead, and One Missed Call look like One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest! Antonio Banderas plays Ecks, an FBI agent who just found out that his wife is still alive. When he's told that one woman, Sever (played unemotionally by Lucy Liu), knows where his wife is, he chases her down to find out where she is. Oh, did I mention that Sever has also kidnapped and caged Ecks' son, a young boy who has nanobots in his bloodstream? Naturally. Anyway, Ecks and Sever team up to take down the man who stole his wife and nanobot-ed his son. Explosions ensue. Watch as Banderas mumbles his way through 90 minutes as Liu struggles to move her face as little as she possibly can. Grab your dessert tray, get your nanobot remote ready, and join us as we VS Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever!


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