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Episode #47 - The Lone Ranger

24Jul

In a special theatrical episode of Stop The Movie, we take a look at a movie that is still currently stinking up cinemas across the world! The Lone Ranger stars Johnny Depp as Tonto and Armie Hammer as the titular hero, who must overcome his own severe case of the "pansies" in order to find and bring to justice the man who broke his brother's heart... and by that I mean he tore his heart out and ate it like it was a hot dog at a baseball game. When The Lone Ranger's ineptitude leads to his brother's widow and her son getting kidnapped twice in the same day by two separate madmen, he must team up with his on-again, off-again sidekick Jack Sparrow... er, I mean Tonto... to try to rescue them, while simultaneously trying to stop an all out war from breaking out between the US Army and the Commanche Indian tribe. Spoiler alert: He fails miserably at one of these two tasks. 10 good movies could have been made with the amount of money that was LOST by this stinker. Grab your dead bird hats, strap on your ivory legs, and join us as we make a bad trade with The Lone Ranger!

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