Episode #97 - The Amazing Spider-Man 2

• November 13th, 2014

This week our skeleton crew takes on your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man! Andrew Garfield returns as Spidey, who is having trouble balancing his superhero life with his love life, especially with his girlfriend's dead father giving him a posthumous guilt trip. Meanwhile, Peter's old chum Harry Osbourne teams up with Spidey's obsessive frenemy Electro in an attempt to procure Spider-Man's blood by any means necessary, while Peter also hunts down his father's darkest secrets. I'm sure there are three or four more subplots that I'm leaving out (something the filmmakers should have done). Grab your secret subway tokens, fire up your rhino suits, and join us as we Spider-Sass talk The Amazing Spider-Man 2!

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Episode #96 - A Sound of Thunder

• October 31st, 2014

This week, Ed Burns sneaks back into our lives with a bag of fertilizer. That fertilizer, of course, is A Sound of Thunder! Burns plays Travis Ryer, a scientist that pilots time travel safaris for the bored and wealthy who want to experience the thrill of hunting a real life dinosaur. When something goes awry on one of these hunts, a butterfly effect is put into action, rendering the present unrecognizable. Burns and his crew must fend off monkey-dinosaurs and subway serpents while they try to figure out a way to go back in time one last time and fix what they've broken. The director of this film clearly had it out for the great Ray Bradbury. Grab your fertilizer, load up on ice bullets, and join us as we go back in time and erase A Sound of Thunder from our memories!

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Episode #95 - Fear No Evil

• October 16th, 2014

Our second "Horror-able Halloween" movie of the year is 1981's Fear No Evil! I had a team of scientists, theologists, and satanists study and break down the plot for me, and they tell me that the movie revolves around Andrew Williams, who is as normal a high school student as they come... studious, awkward, the living incarnate of the fallen angel Lucifer, and a killer dodgeball player. While Andrew is battling with his hormones and ambiguous sexuality, two arch angels prepare to destroy the devil inside him once and for all. Also, some guy hits his girlfriend a lot and a priest puts on a play. Hey, sometimes it's tough to fill 90 minutes. Grab your birthday cakes, stay out of the crazy gym teacher's way, and join us as we enjoy the beautiful scenery of Boldt Castle with Fear No Evil!

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Episode #94 - Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

• October 2nd, 2014

Before went to space... before he went to Hell... before he fought Freddy Krueger to the death... before he built an elaborate and well-lit labyrinth of underground tunnels... Jason Voorhees took on 1980's era New York City! When Crystal Lake's graduating class takes a boat trip to the Big Apple, maniacal serial killer and hockey mask enthusiast Jason Voorhees develops a major case of the FOMOs and decides to tag along. After killing most of the passengers and sinking the ship, Jason follows the survivors' life boat to New York, where he ignores the millions of potential victims literally walking by him on the street in order to satisfy some bizarre and unknown vendetta against a handful of Crystal Lake high school students and their crabby teacher. Grab a speargun, drop your anchor, and join us as we drown Jason Takes Manhattan in toxic waste!

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Episode #93 - Tiptoes

• September 18th, 2014

Episode description coming soon!

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Episode #92 - Zardoz

• September 6th, 2014

Sean Connery and his underwear star in this post-Bond sci-fi bomb. Connery plays Zed, a savage killer who breaks into the Vortex, a paradise-like society of immortal intellects called the Eternals. When their way of life is threatened by the very presence of Zed, the Eternals are split into those who want to protect him, and those who want him destroyed. Is Zed the bringer of doom for the Eternals? Or can he provide them with the one thing that a people bored with immortality desire the most? This movie features the first scene centered around Sean Connery's junk since Goldfinger's laser. Grab your tabernacle, go to the second level, and join us as we bring sweet sweet death to Zardoz!

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Episode #91 - Lucy

• August 21st, 2014

Episode description coming soon!

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Episode #90 - Transformers: Age of Extinction

• August 6th, 2014

Marky "I'm talking to a plant" Mark Wahlberg takes over Shia Lebeouf's mantle as leading man of the Transformers series in the latest, most bloated installment, Transformers: Age of Extinction! Marky "What, no!" Mark plays Cade Yeager, an down and out inventor who stumbles upon a TRANSFORMA! While trying to discover the secrets of the transformers in order to improve upon his own terrible inventions, he accidentally awakens Optimus Prime, head autobot and the number 1 target on Kelsey Grammer's hit list. When Grammer's men come looking for Optimus, Cade and his daughter, Avatar's Nicola Peltz, go on the lam and meet up with the last remaining autobots, who are being hunted down by bounty hunter Lockdown. Now the autobots must go on the offensive and take down Lockdown... and Stanley Tucci's home-made transformers... and Hong Kong... and some dinosaurs... and my patience... Grab your seeds, dust off your best dinobot, and join us as we pray for our own extinction with Transformers: Age of Extinction! With special guest Jeremy Ryan!

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Episode #89 - The Punisher (1989)

• July 24th, 2014

The first ever Punisher movie featured Stop The Movie alum Dolph Lundgren as the eponymous anti-hero. When Detective Frank Castle's family is murdered in an apparent mob hit, he goes underground (literally) and reinvents himself as The Punisher, a vigilante who murders punishes those who do bad. When the son of the city's last standing mob boss is kidnapped, The Punisher must work with the man who may or may not have been responsible for his family's death, or else he'll lose his best friend and ex-partner Louis Gossett Jr. Grab your unlimited ammo, gas up your magic motorcycle, and join us as special guest Sal Maneen helps us endure the punishment of watching The Punisher!

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Episode #88 - Die Another Day

• July 3rd, 2014

Thrills! Chills! Tsunamis! Madonna! James Bond is Back In Action! 2002's Die Another Day was to the Bond franchise what Batman and Robin was to the Batman franchise... a huge turd that eventually inspired and amazing reboot! Pierce Brosnan turns in his last performance as Bond James Bond in what turned out to be one of the lowest points in the 50 year old franchise. When he's captured while on a mission in North Korean, Bond is held and tortured for a year until his government finally makes a deal to get him back, under the fear that he had cracked and was leaking secrets. When M tells him that he's no longer an asset to his country, Bond goes rogue (for the 20th time) in order to find the person behind the betrayal that led to his capture. The trail brings him to Gustav Graves, a millionaire playboy who may not be who he says he is. Skyfall was good, but could have been great had it featured 100% more Madonna cameos. Grab your invisible car keys, pour yourself a mo-heeeee-toe, and join us as we make sure THIS Bond doesn't live to Die Another Day!

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