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Episode #44 - Drive Angry

June 20th, 2013

We just can't get enough Nicolas Cage here at Stop the Movie. He makes a triumphant, if not half asleep return to the podcast in 2011's Drive Angry! Cage plays Milton, a man recently escaped from the bowels of Hell who is bent on finding his granddaughter, a baby that has been kidnapped by a cult leader who plans on using her as a human sacrifice in order to bring Hell to Earth. Amber Heard is a waitress who gets dragged along for the ride, solely because she has a hot car and a hotter body. The duo must find the cult leader and save the baby, all while being chased by a demon who wants to return Cage's soul to the depths of Hades. Come for the Nicolas Cage jokes, stay to find out which actor in this movie co-host Andy "Randy" Wolf is in love with. Hint: It's not any of the women. Grab your demon killin' guns, renew your drivers' licenses, and join us as we send Drive Angry back to Hell!

Episode #43 - Double Dragon

June 12th, 2013

Double Dragon is an adaptation of the video game of the same name, and in the rich tradition of Street Fighter, Super Mario Bros, and House of the Dead, it sucks. Jimmy Lee and his clearly adopted brother Billy live in the city of "New Angeles" in the distant future of 2007. Robert Patrick plays a megalomaniac who devises an evil scheme to take over a city that he ostensibly already owns. Now the Lee brothers must fend off numerous street gangs while trying to keep their half of a mystical medallion from falling into the wrong hands. I can't imagine that there are worse video game adaptations than this one. Pull up your favorite mutating chair, pour yourself a glass of flammable water, and join us as we make Double Dragon punch itself in the face!

Episode #42 - I Know Who Killed Me

June 5th, 2013

I Know Who Killed Me represents the death throes of Lindsay Lohan's career as an actress. In what we've dubbed "Parent Trap 2", Lohan plays two characters... the first is Aubrey, a well off, smart, musically talented young woman who enjoys writing stories in her spare time. The second is a dirty, filthy, toilet talking stripper named Dakota. When Aubrey is abducted by a killer whose motives are the only thing dumber than his M.O., Dakota is found horribly injured and mistaken for her twin sister. Now Dakota must prove that she's not who everyone thinks she is, and find Aubrey before it's too late. The ending to this movie proved to be so predictable and lame that the filmmakers opted to just leave it out of the film altogether. Charge up your artificial legs, don't ask me any questions, and join us as we punish I Know Who Killed Me for not wanting to play the piano!


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