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Episode #48 - R.I.P.D.

July 31st, 2013

Our second theatrical review of the summer, R.I.P.D. sees Rooster Cogburn and Hal Jordan team up as a couple of oddly matched postmortem policemen who hunt down and arrest "Deados", ghosts who have overstayed their welcome on Earth. On their very first case together, the duo stumble upon an apocalyptic plot that's been hatched by Kevin Bacon, a dirty cop with a some serious soul stank. Now, Cogburn and Green Lantern must overcome their anachronistic differences and work together to save the world, all while slowly unraveling the mystery of what the coyotes did to Rooster's skull after he died. This movie represents what happens when you take Men In Black and replace all of the charm, character, and quirkiness with fart jokes and "billy goating". Grab your magical charm bracelet, relax your body, and join us as we "erase" R.I.P.D.!

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Episode #47 - The Lone Ranger

July 24th, 2013

In a special theatrical episode of Stop The Movie, we take a look at a movie that is still currently stinking up cinemas across the world! The Lone Ranger stars Johnny Depp as Tonto and Armie Hammer as the titular hero, who must overcome his own severe case of the "pansies" in order to find and bring to justice the man who broke his brother's heart... and by that I mean he tore his heart out and ate it like it was a hot dog at a baseball game. When The Lone Ranger's ineptitude leads to his brother's widow and her son getting kidnapped twice in the same day by two separate madmen, he must team up with his on-again, off-again sidekick Jack Sparrow... er, I mean Tonto... to try to rescue them, while simultaneously trying to stop an all out war from breaking out between the US Army and the Commanche Indian tribe. Spoiler alert: He fails miserably at one of these two tasks. 10 good movies could have been made with the amount of money that was LOST by this stinker. Grab your dead bird hats, strap on your ivory legs, and join us as we make a bad trade with The Lone Ranger!

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Episode #46 - Elektra

July 14th, 2013

Before Hollywood discovered the formula for making good comic book adaptations, they gave us Elektra... a film which all but brought Jennifer Garner's career to a grinding halt. Garner plays the eponymous hero, who is an assassin-for-hire who has been given a new job... she must KILL THE LAST AIRBENDER... or something like that. Tables are turned when she decides to protect those she was hired to kill against some of the lamest baddies in super hero movie history. Tattoo? Really? Linen-man? C'mon! Can Elektra save the girl and her father? Does the audience even care? Put on your sexy red killin' outfit, leave Ben Affleck on the cutting room floor, and join us as we throw table cloths in Elektra's FACE! With special guest Nick Newert!

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Episode #45 - The Cat in the Hat

July 5th, 2013

The Cat In The Hat tried to do what only The Love Guru could do a few years down the road… put an merciless end to the career of the once great Mike Myers. Myers plays the cowardly lion in this 2003 adaptation of one of Dr. Seuss' most famous works. Two siblings find themselves alone on a rainy day when a giant talking cat comes along and completely ruins their day using magic and dumb voices. When the big talking feline shockingly proves to be a terrible guardian, the children find themselves in a pickle when their home is destroyed and their dog runs away. Now they must clean up their mess before their mother gets home and her evil boyfriend, played by the evil Alec Baldwin, can send them both away to military school. If you've ever wanted to see a hepatitis joke pop up in a kids' movie, pick yourself up a copy of this film. Grab your dirty hoes, get in your S.H.I.T. mobiles, and join us as we neuter The Cat in the Hat!

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