Stop the Movie! I Want to Get Out!

Episode #61 - After Earth

Moriarty strikes again! We've been waiting a long time to review M. Night Shyamalan's latest disaster, After Earth! Despite being real life father and son, Will and Jaden Smith play the least convincing father and son on-screen duo ever in this 2013 CGI orgy. Smith Sr. plays Cypher Raige, who crash lands on an abandoned planet Earth with his son Kitai (Smith Jr.) after their ship is caught in a surprise meteor storm. After suffering a debilitating leg injury in the crash, Cypher sends Kitai out on his own to find the tail of their downed ship, where their only hope, a homer beacon, is stashed. Kitai must overcome treacherous weather conditions, baboons, tigers, and his father's shadow in order to save both of their lives! After Earth proves that while fear may not be real, boredom most certainly is. Grab your breathing packs, TAKE A KNEE, and join us as we deny After Earth!

Episode #60 - King Lee

We're back with another Start the Movie edition of the podcast! This week we talk to the filmmakers of a locally produced film about Syracuse's best/worst mayor ever, Lee Alexander. King Lee shows us Lee's story through the warped lens of a 70's exploitation movie, and the results are amazeballs. Join us as director Jonathan Case, producer (and two-time guest podcaster) Tim Ferlito, and actor Nathan Faudree take us behind the scenes of King Lee!

Episode #59 - Rob Zombie's Halloween 2

In our final f@#king episode of this year's "Horror-able f@#king Halloween" series, we review Rob f@#king Zombie's Halloween 2. In the sequel to his 2007 crime against humanity, Zombie takes us back to the white trash version of Haddonfield, where Laurie Strode is trying to cope with the events of Halloween night by yelling at everyone and everything she sees, including her best friend Annie, a book, her steering wheel, and Margot Kidder. Meanwhile, after wandering around maskless in the woods for two years, Michael Myers eventually makes it back to his hometown to finish what he started... pooping on John Carpenter's legacy. Spoiler alert: The first half hour of this podcast is a dream. Grab your horse statues, take out the garbage, and join us as we get all white trashy with Rob Zombie's Halloween 2!

Episode #58 - Halloween 3: Season of the Witch

In our third "Horror-able Halloween" review, we take on Tom Atkins an Halloween 3: Season of the Witch. Atkins plays Dr. Challis, a creepy old man who abandons his kids to go on a quest with an attractive 20 year old who he just met. After her father is murdered, Ellie Grimbridge teams up with Challis to track down her father's killers to Santa Mira, California, where an Irish toy maker named Cochran is manufacturing popular Halloween masks. Challis quickly discovers that Cochran isn't what he seems, and neither are his masks. Can Challis and Ellie stop Cochran before he performs a mass sacrifice? How did Cochran get stonehenge into the country? Where the hell is Michael Myers? Grab your Silver Shamrock masks, tune in for the big giveaway at 9, and join us as we melt Halloween 3's face into a pile of snakes and cockroaches!

Episode #57 - Spookies

Spookies is a special kind of movie. Shot on a low budget, the original cut was so horrid that the producers fired the directors (plural) and brought in someone else to direct a completely other movie that they could cram into their existing film. The resulting mess is so poorly stitched together that it's plot becomes completely incoherent. When a group of youths and their middle-aged friend go on a search for a good party spot, they end up at a creepy old mansion, where an old man lives in the attic with his comatose bride and their abominable offspring. The group comes looking for a party, but what they find is much less fun. This movie should have won an award for Most Poorly Written Comic Relief Character. Grab your planchettes, put on your hand pupperts, and JOIN US as we feed Spookies to a mysterious Asian spider-lady!

Episode #56 - Sleepaway Camp II

In our first review in our "Horror-able Halloween" series we tackle Sleepaway Camp II. Pamela Springsteen plays homicidal camp counselor Angela in this schlocky horror sequel. After undergoing a sex change operation, former murderous summer camper Angela can't keep herself from "sending" bad kids "home", much to the chagrin of her bosses, General Gogol and TC Mullet. Watch as Angela knocks off the world's oldest campers one by one. Grab your chainsaws, put on your arts and crafts Freddy Krueger gloves, and joins us as we make Sleepaway Camp II dookie in its pants!!

Episode #55 - The Paperboy

Zac Effron, Nicole Kidman, Matthew McConaughey, Macy Gray and John Cusack star in one of the most incoherent movies we've ever reviewed. When he's convinced by a crazy woman to write an article about a convicted murderer to try to get him out of prison, McConaughey teams up with his brother (Effron) and his writing partner and sets out to find the truth... or get sexually assaulted trying! Macy Gray does her best to guide us through this muck of a plot and John Cusack gets as gross and racist as he possibly can. Grab a tub of ice cream, leave your pants at home, and join us as we pee all over The Paperboy's face!

Episode #54 - They Live

They Live? We're really doing this? Alright...

We here at Stop the Movie are fans of John Carpenter's sci-fi classic They Live, but we felt like there was enough craziness in the movie that we just HAD to talk about it... so welcome to our first "Start the Movie" review! Rowdy Roddy Piper stars across from Keith David in 86 minutes of sci-fi zaniness, and a legendary 5 minutes and 20 seconds of pure awesomeness! After observing some odd behavior at a church across the street from his shanty town, Piper discovers a box full of sunglasses that allows him to see the truth... that the earth is being run by ugly-ass aliens who are using subliminal messages to control the human race. After beating Keith David into believing him, the two set out to expose the aliens' evil doings. I really can't say anything bad about this movie. It's awesome. Grab your sunglasses, OBEY, and join us as we chew bubblegum and kick ass with They Live!

Episode #53 - Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever

Good God.... We've finally done it... We've finally found a movie that makes The Happening look like The Godfather, House of the Dead look like Dawn of the Dead, and One Missed Call look like One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest! Antonio Banderas plays Ecks, an FBI agent who just found out that his wife is still alive. When he's told that one woman, Sever (played unemotionally by Lucy Liu), knows where his wife is, he chases her down to find out where she is. Oh, did I mention that Sever has also kidnapped and caged Ecks' son, a young boy who has nanobots in his bloodstream? Naturally. Anyway, Ecks and Sever team up to take down the man who stole his wife and nanobot-ed his son. Explosions ensue. Watch as Banderas mumbles his way through 90 minutes as Liu struggles to move her face as little as she possibly can. Grab your dessert tray, get your nanobot remote ready, and join us as we VS Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever!

Episode #52 - Kazaam

In an unreleased episode from the archives, we take a look at the Shaq classic "Kazaam". Shaq plays a genie who is released from his boombox by Max, a young boy who's desperate to find and start a relationship with his jerk father. After stealing a million dollar Da Brat cassette tape from his dad in order to look cool in front of some bullies, Max finds himself in a pickle that only Kazaam's magic can get him out of, if only he can get Kazaam to care about anything else besides his hip hop career for ten freaking minutes. Grab your magic boomboxes, reconnect with your sleezeball father, and join us as we rap battle "Kazaam"!