Stop the Movie! I Want to Get Out!

Episode #83 - From Justin to Kelly

This week we tackle another notoriously bad movie in From Justin to Kelly! Justin Guarini and Kelly Clarkson star in this American Idol cash-in gone horribly wrong! Justin and Kelly star as Justin and Kelly, two younglings on Spring Break who are just looking to have a good time when the unexpected happens, and they fall in love during an overly choreographed musical number on a beach... you know, just like how most young couples meet. Things go wrong when Kelly's jealous "party girl" friend gets in between them, nearly ending their budding relationship before it can even get started. The stakes have never been lower than they are in this film. This might be the first musical in history where the studio refused to release the soundtrack due to embarrassingly low interest. Grab your hovercraft, put on your whipped cream bikinis, and join us as we "sing" and "dance" with From Justin to Kelly! Featuring special guest Katie Corrado!

Episode #82 - Critters

Nick Newert drops in once again to help us make sense of 1986's Critters, a sci-fi cult classic starring Dee Wallace and featuring Billy Zane! When a race of aliens known as the Crites escape from a prison transport ship and crash land on Earth, two alien bounty hunters are sent to eliminate them by any means necessary. When the Crites start causing havoc on a sleepy Kansas town, the bounty hunters show up and cause even more havoc by crashing cars into churches and shooting up bowling alleys, all while a family and their cat do the best they can to defend their farm from an army of hungry Furbies and M. Emmet Walsh becomes increasingly confused by everything he sees. This movie continues our trend of bad 80's movies that directly and poorly rip off great 80's movies. Grab your ray guns, check your fillings, and join us as we brutally murder Billy Zane with Critters!

Episode #81 - Man of Steel

Zack Snyder directs his way back to the podcast with 2013's hugely disappointing Superman reboot Man of Steel. Also returning is Henry Cavill as Kal-El/Clark Kent/Superman/Jesus. Sent to Earth shortly before his home planet explodes, Kryptonian Kal-El is raised as Clark Kent, a boy who doesn't know why he's different from everyone else. When his secret is finally revealed to him, he sets out to find the truth about his lineage. Meanwhile, the evil Kryptonian General Zod arrives at Earth on a quest to find Kal-El and take from him the codex, the last hope for the future of Krypton and its people. Now Clark must become Jesus Christ Superman, fulfilling his destiny as Earth's savior and protector. This movie wanted so badly to be a Batman film, evidenced by the fact that Batman is going to be in the sequel. Grab your breathers, fire up the World Engine, and join us as we try to find something for Lois Lane to do with Man of Steel! With special guest Nick Newert.

Episode #80 - Sliver

Billy Baldwin proves once again to be the best Baldwin in his second appearance on the podcast in 1993's Sliver. Sharon Stone stars as Carly, a book editor who moves into a high rise apartment building in New York City. After becoming romantically involved with one of the creepiest neighbor a girl could have (Baldwin), she spirals into a world of murder, deceit, adultery, spy cameras, horse whips and sad, sad sex. Sliver is an erotic thriller that is neither erotic, nor thrilling. Grab your telescope, spy on your neighbors, and join us as we throw Sliver out of a high rise apartment building!

Episode #79 - The Counselor

The Counselor is a film with a top rated cast and a bottom shelf script. Starring alongside Brad Pitt, Cameron Diaz, Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz, Michael Fassbender plays the eponymous counselor, a lawyer who gets caught up in... something... bad? We're still not really sure. When the deal goes bad, Bardem, Pitt, and Fassbender find themselves in the crosshairs of the Cartel. Some people make some ridiculous speeches, and Cameron Diaz workshops a few accents. That's the closest I can come to giving a synopsis of this mess. Grab your pet leopards, wash your windshield, and join us as we make a snuff film out of The Counselor!

Episode #78 - Trespass

Nicolas Cage! NICOLAS CAGE! Yes, we're big fans of Nic Cage here at the podcast, FINE, YOU FIGURED IT OUT! CONGRATULATIONS! Nicolas Cage plays a diamond dealer who, along with his wife (Nicole Kidman) and daughter, is held hostage inside his home by a group of burglars led by a Sam Rockwell impersonator. They threaten to kill his family unless he opens his safe and gives them the tens of hundreds of dollars contained within. When all his attempts to Shyamalan his way out of danger fail (you think this necklace is real. THIS NECKLACE ISN'T REAL!), he's forced to reveal that his safe is empty and he is in fact in financial ruins. Now fake Sam Rockwell must find some way to squeeze money out of Cage in order to pay his debts, while his delusional little brother tries to convince Nicole Kidman that she's in love with him. Yeah, it's as crazy as it sounds. Grab your prescription Tic Tacs, give us your kidney, and join us as we FIGURE IT OUT with Trespass!

Episode #77 - Runner Runner

Have you ever wanted to watch a movie about online poker, but didn't actually want to see any poker being played whatsoever? Well, have we got the film for you! Runner Runner tells the story of Richie Furst (Justin Timberlake), who gets caught up in the intense world of off shore gambling when he confronts Ivan Block (Ben Affleck) about a scam that he's running. When Block sees the potential in Richie, he offer's him a job with his company. Things soon spiral out of control when Richie finds himself smack dab in the middle of the plot of Paranoia, caught between an overzealous FBI agent and a crooked boss who is threatening his father's life. Where is Gary Oldman when you need him? Grab your crocodiles, enjoy your massages, and join us as we go all in with Runner Runner!

Episode #76 - Foodfight!

Strap in... this is a rough one. Back in the very early aughts some filmmakers decided to make a star studded Toy Story ripoff that has only slightly less product placement than Mac & Me! After 12 years on a shelf, this unrendered nightmare was unleashed onto a completely unsuspecting and undeserving public. Starring Charlie Sheen, Hilary Duff, Eva Longoria, and Christopher Lloyd, Foodfight! follows Dex Dogtective, a cereal mascot "ike" who quits his job as head dogtective when he fails to solve his most important case... the disappearance of the love of his life. 6 months later the grocery store that is their home is invaded by the evil "Brand X", a generic brand that wants to dominate and assimilate the store. Now Dex must stop a very thinly veiled holocaust scenario before his friends are killed, and the children in the audience start asking very uncomfortable questions about genocide. Please don't show your kids this movie. Grab your raisins, butter your muffins, and join us as we learn why it's bad to be ugly with Foodfight! With special guest host Dora Scheidell!

Episode #75 - I, Frankenstein

The crew of Stop the Movie took a trip down to Theater 17, located in the bowels of our local cinema, where the seats are few and the movies are terrible, to see I, Frankenstein, the 2014 atrocity starring Aaron Eckhart as the titular hero. When Frankenstein's monster, renamed Adam, is attacked by demons immediately following the events of the novel, he is rescued and taken in by the order of the Gargoyles, angelic creatures who protect humanity from evil forces. Fast forward 200 years, Adam, now a full blown demon hunter, finds himself in the crosshairs of the evil Lord Naberius (Bill Nighy), the CEO of a medical research firm that is trying to find a way to reanimate corpses in order to create a demon army large enough to take over the world. With the help of an overly attractive doctor, Adam must protect the secret which only his body and his father's journal holds, all while accomplishing the far more difficult task of continuously saying the phrase "Queen Gargoyle" without cracking a smile. Grab your demon killin' blades, put on your hoodies, and join us as we "descend" I, Frankenstein!

Episode #74 - Mac and Me

This week we take on the legendary Mac and Me! In what doubles as a 90 minute Coke, McDonalds, Sears, and Skittles advertisement, Mac and Me follows Eric, a young boy who befriends a creepy-ass alien named Mac that's hanging out in his backyard. When the government comes looking for Mac, Eric and his brother must go on a Coca-Cola sponsored adventure to find Mac's family before the most inept government agents in history can catch up to them. Come for the wheelchair-off-a-cliff scene, stay for the McDonaldland dance off! Grab a Coke, order up a Big Mac, and join us as we eat Skittles with Mac and Me!